Thursday, May 29, 2014

Singleness is a Gift







May 28, 2014

I always used to wonder why a person like me is still single. Just about every day, I hear of couple getting together as boyfriend/girlfriend, getting engaged, and even tying the knot. It would just make me think, “When is something like that going to happen to me?”

Back when I was living on a college campus this past spring semester, literally everywhere I looked I saw a loving couple. And here I caught myself without a hand to hold, no one to wrap an arm around my shoulder, you know, things of that nature. The more I saw such displays on campus, the more I wanted it for myself, the lonelier I felt, and, admittedly, I felt a little jealous. And Lord knows I’m not one who is easy to become jealous. I would always wonder, why doesn't God bless me with a special someone? Am I not ready just yet? What’s going on?

Prior to Valentine’s Day this year, I was sitting in my dorm room. No one was there at the moment, so that led me to ponder. I just remembered seeing so many couples around me and the fact that I’m single really got to me. All of these crazy thoughts entered my head: “What’s wrong with me?” “Do I not show myself enough?” “Am I too quiet?” “Am I not unique enough?” I now realize that Satan had snuck into my thoughts. I started to get teary eyed and I cried for a minute or two. I was probably feeling that way because Valentine’s Day was coming up (I was never a fan because I was never one’s sweetheart on that day).

One day during the semester, I was having an insightful conversation with a close friend, Victoria, who I met that same semester (I like to call us “sisters from another mister”). She also happens to be single so she understands what I’m going throughJ! I remember she was telling me how having a boyfriend during college years is very distracting. It could throw me off my studies and the possible drama of the relationship could have me under stress on top of dealing with college responsibilities. Okay, now, I have no experience in a college relationship so I don’t know what it’ll really be like. Victoria made such a good point saying that singleness is a gift. We have nothing to distract us from our personal goals or any drama that’s being added to our lives. This isn’t to say that I perceive relationships as being drama-filled—all relationships have different levels of drama for different reasons—but there are people (me included) who may not be ready for that just yet.

Maybe I should change my perspective on being single. I prayed one night and asked God to help me view my singleness as a gift, a blessing and something to not be so pouty about. The very next day, I went out on campus and saw plenty of couple at nearly every corner. I was not bothered by the sight anymore. I was actually happy! I was just happy in general. I don’t know what God did to my heart, but I’m thankful that He did because I no longer viewed being single as a problem anymore. I was finally at peace.

I always looked at marriage as a gift. Being blessed with that special someone (soul mate) who loves you, every inch and every curve, every perfection and imperfection, every strand of hair. I've always fantasized what that will be like for me. To be honest, I see a picture of heavenly bliss. That’s just me. Call me unrealistic, na├»ve, anything. But I believe something so beautiful can happen to me. And I believe that it will. But until then, I have to look as being single as a gift. No distractions. Perhaps God is protecting me from ungodly men, preparing me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for that special someone who is not perfect, but perfect for me. Maybe God, and I say this very humbly, looks at me and think that I’m too valuable in His sight to just be with anyone. Kindness, spirituality, beauty, love, peace, intelligence, sensitivity, patience, gentleness, serenity, purity, humility, courage, and loyalty. I possess all of those qualities. It’s so good to know that God has someone who is just suited enough for me and perfect for me out there. And I’m pretty sure that God is getting HIM ready too (whoever he may be!).

I can’t wait for that day. But I must. I must be patient and continue praying that God will rid any insecurity that I have and prepare me for the relationship that I always wanted.

SO, until then, while I’m single, I will carry myself like the queen I am, live, laugh, enjoy life and one day, attract my king.

I’ll end on this note: being single is not a pain, but a blessing. It keeps us protected, humble, and patient. This is a time for us to find ourselves, focus on our relationship with God, and work on loving ourselves first. We are LOVED, by God and so many others. We’ll find that one, or that one will find us.


Monday, May 5, 2014

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I have nothing to do, but everything to do at the same time...! Quite a paradox. :P